For about 2, if not 3 years now, I feel like I have been a woman posing as a runner. My stats have been atrocious, my runs few and far between. Becoming a wife and a mother, moving halfway across the country from beautiful, sunny Northern California to windy western Kansas and dealing with sleepless nights and so much time without Chas during wrestling season has put a damper on my athletic spirit. In my mind and heart, I am a runner, but in actuality, I am a fraud.
Last week I ran twice. It was so refreshing to wake up before anyone else and know that while everyone in Hays, KS, was still fast asleep, I was working hard and showing the world my perseverance. Morning runs are really about putting one foot in front of the other. I generally have just nursed the baby, and instead of crawling back in next to my husband, I opt for the cold, windy tundra that is Main Street at 5:30 am. I run an out and back usually, trying to complete one leg faster than the other. Pounding the pavement that earlier makes a person ponder big things, future goals, the meaning of life, etc. In a way, it makes me feel superior, the fact that I can do this, that I have the will power to do it, even if just for my usual 2 mile stretch. When I walk back in the door, I am no longer free or powerful. I am mom, Marketing Director and chef, but I feel more empowered in my daily activities, and more patient in my handling of crying babies, dog messes, and dumb emails. A run can certainly mellow a Type A personality like myself, but at the same time makes me feel more secure in who I am and what I am doing.
Besides my running lately, I have been playing in a rec volleyball league and working on some Nike Training Club workouts. On Monday, we played a team that had 3 former collegiate players on it. By former, I mean just graduated. Being 11 years out from my playing days, I am confident in my ability and skills, but am most certainly a step behind where I was when training was my life. We lost the game on Monday, and I left the facility feeling embarrassed and angry. They other team was cocky, stuck up, and not fun and light to play like most of our “Rec” league opponents. I hate that feeling. But then I started thinking about my NOW self as opposed to my 11 years ago self. When I was in the same position as the cocky girls we played Monday night, I am sure I was similar, and enjoyed beating up on older people. But I will tell you why they should be bowing down to me:
I am 11 years out of my volleyball career and I still was blocking the crap out of them.
I have the guts and moxy to put myself in that situation knowing that I am not the same 100% I used to be.
Those girls don’t know what it is like to be up all hours of the night nourishing a human being.
I created a human being with my own body!
I can work a 50+ hour week, cook, clean, and nurture my family while still looking to maintain my health and the health of my boys.
I am setting an example for my son, showing him that anything is possible and fitness is forever.
Those girls aren’t up at 5:30 to make themselves better.
Oh, and they certainly don’t know that people may not remember what you did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.
I am a mom, a fit mom. A mom that is continuously trying to make herself a better person, wife, employee, and human. I know everyone is fighting some kind of battle, as I am. I know that there were probably days when I acted like them, but now I see the world in a different light. Someday they will too.
No parent finds out that they are going to have a child and says to themselves, “I am going to do everything in my power to screw this kid up.” I truly believe, well at least hope, that all parents have the best of intentions. They may not be happy about the situation they are in at the time that parenthood comes along, but no doubt their intent is to provide what is best for the child. The biggest problem is that no parent can teach their child things that they don’t know. If kindness is not the parent’s strong suit, there is a pretty good chance that it won’t be the child’s either.
There are basically 3 elements to my life nowadays. The first is Parenting. The second is work, and the third is attempting to get back into shape. I am taking the first day by day. I mean, how else to do you parenting. Very little planning can be done, and the messes are inevitable. I still have yet to sleep for more than 3 hours at a time in going on 8 months. However, my little boy is growing up to be a fierce, tough and determined young man, but then again what else should I have expected? He is half Ginn after all.
As I have told you on my last post, I have started using a service call The Daily Burn. It basically gives you access to workout videos via an streaming device. I have found it very convenient because I don’t have to pack up Cub and got to a gym or class. As soon as he goes down for a nap, I can flip on the Roku and work up a sweat. I highly recommend it to moms looking to get their body back. It is only about $15 a month, and I definitely feel like I have gotten my moneys worth in just the 3 weeks I have been using it.
This year is already flying by, and my little baby is 7 months old. He’s crawling, talking, standing up on everything and is turning out to be this stubborn, tenacious little person. He is such a great combination of both Chas and me. We went to the doctor the other day, and he is in the 19% in height and only the 5% in weight. We are a little worried about that, but the kid is an eater. We just have to work a little harder I guess. Another light weight in the family.
Parenthood is fairly simple when you think about it. It is basically just a never-ending, continuous string of problems that you must solve. How do I get this kid to stop crying? Where is your binky? Are you hungry? What is in your hair? You get the picture. Since my last post, oh so long ago, we have done pretty well. Cub is just over 4 month old now, and in general he is a happy, loving kid who LOVES his mama and poops every single time you set him in his Bumbo seat. We are currently fighting teething, as well as the “lets see how many times I can wake my mom up in the middle of the night” battle. He is really good at that one- Cub is definitely winning that war.
The first few weeks, like the first few miles, you are getting your groove, getting used to the idea that you will be running for hours on end or carrying this baby for months. You feel fairly good as you get your stride, and are excited that you have something to look forward to: the finish line.
From mile 8 to mile 18 (week 13-27), things start to go numb. Things hurt occasionally, but you are sort of in your groove, and the crowd of excited fans has finally thinned out a little bit. You realize that there is no turning back now, so you are basically just going through the motions attempting to make it to the next mile (or milestone). With every gel, your energy level increases for a bit, and you feel like you can actually accomplish something here.
Running From Everything 