How the West was Won…

So a lot has happened since the last time I wrote on this blog. I moved 1,600 miles across the country for a new job. I am now a California resident, and for the two weeks that I have been here, I have loved every minute of it. It is always fun to move someplace new. Reinventing yourself is something that I think everyone should get the chance to do. I am so grateful for this new opportunity.

Over the past year, I have worked so hard for so little money. I spent countless hours helping others, and I have truly been rewarded for my work. 80 hour work weeks plus school on top of it is just overwhelming sometimes. I have found myself again. I get to run, watch tv, and be creative in my new job. I am enjoying my life so much right now, and I am truly grateful for this wonderful opportunity.

I am hoping to post more about my training experiences from now on, so look for more to come.

Every New Beginning…

I had the opportunity to watch an amazing move 2 nights ago. It was called Spirit of the Marathon, and if followed the journey of 5 individuals as they trained, prepared and ran the Chicago marathon in 2004. It brought back so many good feeling of my training. After running a few races, I have come to realize why I keep doing it. I race to train, not train to race. The training is what makes you a stronger, more self-empowered person. The training is where you strength is gained. The race means nothing. That is hard to understand sometimes, but it is exactly how it should be… It’s not the destination. It’s the journey.

I have a marathon scheduled for September 2nd in Columbia, Missouri, and my official training starts next week. This was such an awesome way to gain momentum going into my training cycle. The summer will be hard. Hot, windy training will be the name of the game in Northwest Kansas. I am ready.

Bring on the challenge…

My Nose Bleed Run

So I have been doing well, lifting, running, getting in shape in general. I had a night off last night, and decided to walk my dogs, Lucy and Milton to the baseball game then run back home. The distance was just over a mile, not very far, but a good way to loosen up my legs after a few days of lifting heavy. We made our way to the game (a trick in itself with 2 bulldogs) and enjoyed the 80 degree evening watching the Fort Hays State Tigers beat Washburn.

A side note here: let me tell you, it is quite a workout with those 2 dogs. Both are about 45 lbs of solid English bulldog muscle, and they like to sniff and pee on stuff…

Finally the time came, and I took off on my run. It was a great run! My quads were a little tight, which I should have expected, and the felt tired, I’m assuming from lactic acid, but other than that, I was cruising. I got close to the house and decided I would just keep running for a bit longer.Unfortunately, my plans were suddenly derailed. My nose started running, which was unusual, since it wasn’t cold, and after wiping the drippiness on my hand, I realized that I was bleeding, and not just a little bit! My nose was pouring. I detoured my long run back to the house and took care of my crazy nose.

Who would have thought! I guess crazier things have happened… I have class tonight, but I may give it another shot.

And So it Begins…

Training is hard work, but I have yet to find anything in this world that feels more rewarding when you are done. I love lifting, I love running, I love practice. I am now training MMA, and I can’t wait to actually get to use it in competition. Finding a way to push my body is something that I crave. I’ve started doing some shadow boxing and am okay at it. It interests me, and its something different to try.

I found a great boxing workout to try today, and since my trainer is gone, I get to see if I can push myself a little bit… http://www.menshealth.com/fitness/3-powerful-boxing-workouts

Pain is temporary… (I just have to remind myself sometimes.)

Change is good…

I am happy to have experienced all that I have gone through in my 28 years. I have learned what I like, what I don’t like, and what I want out of life. Oddly enough, it’s not a man, a fancy car, or wealth. It is simply to be happy. Oh, and I want my dog there too. As long as we are happy, nothing else matters. It has taken me a while to realize what it is that will make me happy, but after countless tears, mistakes, and calls to my poor mother, I have decided that I need just a few things to make me happy. Here they are:

1. My dog Lucy

2. Warmth- sun and beautiful days

3. Color, from the land, my space, and me

4. A place to run

5. Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches

6. My cell phone, mostly to call my mom

7. A job where I feel important and wanted

8. Netflix

That’s it. 8 things. An occasional piece of chocolate cake, a Starbucks, and  a car would help too, but I didn’t want to sound needy. 🙂

My Nervous Breakdown

As an athlete, I like to think that my body will tell me everything I need to know. If I ate too much, my body responds. If I haven’t had enough sleep, my body response. If I am under too much stress, my body responds. I can’t get away with treating myself badly. I am also a massive Type A personality, so I try to control everything I possibly can. I’ve been anorexic before…I do not respond well to stressors.

Lately, I have been under major stress. Like shoot yourself in the head to get it over with stress. Yesterday, I broke. I had an anxiety attack. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath. I wanted to vomit. Everything just came to a head. Today, I feel better about the situation, but I have an awful head cold! It just doesn’t pay to be under so much stress. It’s not good! You pay consequences. I know better than to hold all my feelings in, but sometimes you feel totally alone. Sometimes you just want to leave and runaway.

I am trying to pull myself back together. Marathon training starts today, and I am very excited about it. I want to run. I want to feel healthy, and I want to be the person I dream of becoming… Only I can make it happen.

Having Some Troubles…

I am lonely. That is weird to say to the world on a blog, but it is true. About 8 months ago, I decided to leave a job where my colleagues were my friends. Not only did I hang out with them at work, but after work too. I had an identity there. I had my own house there. I had a fence and a yard. I had friends, and people I considered family there. And I left. For a guy.

Now, I am getting my Master’s degree, working over 75 hours a week, and questioning everything about my life. In October, this guy, who I still love dearly, got a DUI. I’ve never been ok with his drinking. He’s a very social guy. I understand that, but drinking has never been a part of my life. After the DUI, I was a mess. Since that happened, I have been struggling to pay my bills, and keep my head above water. He took some alcohol classes, with the last one being 2 nights ago. I thought we were in the clear.

Last night, I got home from class at 8 pm. He told me he was going to a coach’s meeting… at a brewery. I had fixed dinner right before I went to class, so when I got home, I was expecting the food to be put away, the kitchen to be cleaned up, and the dogs to be fed. None of this had happened, so I was already mad that I had to do it all myself. I went to bed.

At 2 am, I awoke to the TV in the bedroom, coming on, blaring. I was mad. He told me he wouldn’t be out late. He told me he wouldn’t drink, and now I was awake.

When I went out to get ready for work, my kitchen was a disaster. My front door was open. His car was not in the drive way. I don’t know whether to be happy because he didn’t drive and no one broke into our house, or mad because he is falling into the same behavior that had gotten us in this mess in the first place.

I don’t know what to do. I don’t have friends here to lean on. I don’t have family here either. I feel very lost.

Making Even a Small Amount of Progress is Still Progress

I haven’t made any huge strides in my fight to be fit since the last time I posted. I have made what I consider a small amount of progress though. Tuesday night I did a Nike Training Club workout, or most of it anyway. I was sweating, and the next morning my calves were very sore.

Yesterday and today I took the dogs for a nice walk. It may not seem like a lot, but I haven’t done that much recently, so a good mile walk or so feels very good.

The point is that exercise doesn’t have to be crazy. Doing something is doing something, or something like that. I have done housework all day, and done quite a bit of moving around, so the walk was a great end to the day.

Tomorrow is something new. I can’t wait to see what it brings…

New Year, New Me

Wow… I failed miserably at the 2011 Running Year. It lasted a whole 22 days into the new year. Well it is January 3rd, and I am gonna try it again. 2011 was a very hard year for me. I faced many challenges, and I realized who I am and how strong I can be. Life throws you things that you don’t expect sometimes, and after going almost a whole year with not enough exercise, I am excited to get back into my formerly healthy ways. So here is how the year is going so far.

I have decided to take it slow. No sense jumping into this at 1,000,000 miles an hour if that is not going to help me stick to it. On January 1st, I took Lucy on a run, only about a mile, but it felt good. Today I did a Nike workout, and I am planning a run for tomorrow.

You have to start somewhere, and I am doing ok… I’ll keep ya updated.