Category Archives: Rants

The Rolling Depression

I am so happy to be engaged. I want to marry Chas, and I want to start our lives together, but ever since we got engaged, I have felt more depressed than I think I almost ever have. The overwhelming feeling that I have with all that I have to do at work, plus the added stress and pressure of planning a wedding makes me dread life a little bit. I have multiple problems with planning a wedding:

1. I don’t want a reception. The reasons for this are two fold.

  • I don’t dance, I hate it, won’t do it, and don’t want to.
  • I don’t drink.

2. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I hate feeling like I am inconveniencing people in any way, so thinking that people are rearranging their lives for my wedding is something that is extremely bothersome.

3. I have about 0 friends, and Chas has like 1 million, so the event of making an invite list highlights this fact to no end.

I have this strange feeling of wanting to be left alone and wanting to be talking to someone at all times. Unfortunately, I still feel alone, even when I am with someone. Its not fun. I can’t shake it. But the only thing that has changed in my situation is the addition of an engagement ring.

It all basically comes down to this. I want to be excited to plan my wedding. I don’t want to completely dread it like I am now. This is supposed to be a fun, memorable time, and I am hating it.

Oh, and if anyone actually reads these things, please don’t comment with something like, “Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.” I will literally come to your house and kick your ass. Don’t waste your energy, and don’t come back to my blog. It’s called my blog for a reason. Enough of that rant…

Regardless of how stressed and depressed I feel, my runs keep seeming to get better, and that is one thing that I can’t be upset about.

 

 

Podcasts, Plants, Parental Control

Well, I am three podcasts in now, and I am pretty sure that I am the only one that has downloaded them… But then again, I don’t think anyone reads this blog either, which is perfectly fine with me. I have a lot of things to say about myself and my life, and just saying them out loud helps me as much as saying them to a live human person. I always look weird recording on my runs, but it helps me maintain a good pace. Recording in my car is the most fun. It takes my mind off the awful traffic, and I seem to be able to get into deep thought better when I am driving. I love recording, and talking about my goals as a woman, marketing director and runner. I am going to keep moving forward, keep getting better, and hopefully keep recording and writing, because it seems like a good outlet for me.

Item number 2 on the agenda tonight is that I am considering getting a plant. Big step, right?

So I take these 2 little girls to school every morning. They live right around the corner from me. I go to their house every morning at 7, pack their lunches, get them dressed, do their hair, feed them breakfast, and walk them to school. Many days when I arrive, I am frustrated to find that much of the work is already done, and so I spend an hour sitting there just waiting, when I know I could be at home getting other things done. Today, the 5 year old got smart with me while the mom was standing there, and the mom just laughed. I was in complete shock. If I had acted like that when I was her age, my parents would have beaten my behind. So I am now to the point where I don’t feel like being harassed by a 5 year old, especially when the parents allow it. If I am lucky enough to able to have children some day, I PROMISE they will be more respectful and well behaved than these children…

Ok, enough for now, but I am updating my racing page, so check that out to see what I have coming up…

Podcast Numbero Uno

Sooooooo…. I had an interesting idea the other day. I realized how much I miss listening to podcast from running while they are running. That sounds dumb, but some of my favorite podcasts were from people like the 4 feet running gang, Gordon Harvey (This Running Life and Running to Disney) and Megan Storms (Run, Vegan, Run). After speaking with both of them, via Twitter, over the past month, I decided that maybe I should try it myself! Why not right?

So last night, I recorded the first episode. It’s long, probably boring, and noisy (because I ran during evening traffic), but I did it. I am going to attempt to put it up on the web, and will post again when it is live on iTunes…

Thank God for Freedom of Speech…

I know… I’m very punny. (Review the title of this post after you read it and you will understand) I need to rant a little bit about what has unfolded this week. I know I will probably offend some people with this post, but it is what it is.

The world has elected a new Pope. I couldn’t care less. The Catholic Church, in my opinion, is a travesty to the world. There are approximately 1.2 billion people in this world that support an ancient ceremony that allows grown men to sweep immediate and pertinent world issues under the rug. 1.2 billion world citizens support the molestation of children. It continues to happen, it continues to be hidden, and it continues to be okay with people. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS!!!!! What if it was your child that had been molested? Would you feel the same? How can this be okay in the modern day? Yet 1.2 billion people still support the Catholic Church.

I am calling bull shit. I don’t have kids, but if I did, and this happened to one of them, I would kill a priest. I may go to hell, but so should he. Why are these people not standing up for what is wrong with this world? Child molestation is never okay. In no situation should this be going on in 2013. These priests that engage in this activity should be thrown in a cell and  stay there for the remainder of their days. So should the people that have swept this under the rug for so many years now.

We put the Pope and these Cardinals on pedestals, kiss their hands, and obey their commands…. are you kidding me? These people are criminals! Group thinking is absolutely dangerous. Catholics recite what they are told, walk through the church the way they are told, and go back to a place week after week, tithing and supporting a group of CROOKS!

Please don’t mistake my rant as a hatred of religion. That is not what this is. But I do have a problem with a group that is supposed to be teaching the world and their followers good moral values when they are going against everything they are feeding these people. Stand up for yourselves. If you truly think that this is okay, then keep going to Mass every Sunday and continue to drink their Kool-Aid. Because that’s what it is, in my opinion, a death sentence. You can’t convince me that God thinks this is ok, and if he does, he’s not my God.