Category Archives: My Life

Trials and Tribulations

AutismMy journey in motherhood has been winding and bumpy. At first it was a breeze. Pregnancy with Cub was textbook. I went into labor naturally. I pushed twice, and he popped out with a perfect head and 20 digits. The first year went by in a flash, and we went to Walt Disney World to celebrate our first year as a young family with an ever growing baby boy.

It was our second trip to WDW where things started to change. (Just a quick comment here: I am not placing blame on WDW, but rather using our trips as mile markers. Glad I cleared that up! Wouldn’t want WDW to get a bad rap on my behalf.) It was in October of 2016. Cub was just over 15 months old and had started daycare in August. When we returned home for Florida, we both got bad colds, I assumed from germs on the plane and at WDW. Cub’s cold didn’t go away until we finally got him on medication in January. It wasn’t anything serious, runny nose, annoying little cough, stuff like that. But I specifically remember the first time the doctor said he had fluid in his ears. I thought nothing of this really, because he didn’t have an ear infection. Little did I know this would seriously change the course of Cub’s childhood.

By April 2017, my kid was no longer talking. He used to say Mama and Dada, Dada work, all kinds of cute little baby things, but he was different. We took him for general developmental testing where they determined that Cub was not hearing at all. After a variety of doctor’s appointments, we ended up getting tubes put in his ears in May of 2017. We hoped that this would take care of the problem quickly and we would be back on track.

Come October 2017, and we were seeing NO improvement. In fact Cub wasn’t saying anything at all. He was having behavioral problems at school (climbing fences, taking off his clothes) and I was beside myself, begging the developmental team to help us figure out where to go next. We developed a plan and executed it beautifully. It turned out that the more physical activity and play that Cub participated in, the more verbal he became. At our 2.5 year check up, our pediatrician suggested that we schedule an appointment with a developmental pediatrician in Wichita to get a little more analysis on why cub still wasn’t talking like his peers. The sensory processing initiatives that we were implementing seemed to be working well, but he still wasn’t saying words or sentences. She was booking about 4 months out, so we patiently waited for April to come and to meet with her.

I am not going to rehash what went on with our family from January of 2017-January 2018 in regards to other babies. 2017 was undoubtedly the most challenging year of my life and naturally some of that stress is pasted on to your children, no matter how hard you try to shield them from it.( Feel free to go back in my blog posts to see what happened with both Quinn and Oz, if you don’t already know the story.)

Finally in April of this year, we met with Dr. Valarie Kerschen at Wesley Medical Center in Wichita. After an almost 2 hour appointment, we left with hope that she would get us on the right track. Cub was doing quite a bit better than in 2017, but we still weren’t getting consistent words out of him. After a routine test by the dev. team here in Hays for his annual dev. profile, it was determined that Cub probably was not hearing again. I immediately called the ENT and got him in the next week.

Thank goodness for the ENT. She wanted to be very aggressive with treatment, because she knew what we were going through with Dr. Kerschen. He was hearing almost nothing at all, so she put us on a very strong antibiotic and wanted to see us back in 3 weeks. She also ordered an xray of his adenoids, which showed an enlargement. Fortunately when we went back to see them, he was hearing near perfectly, and we felt like we were back on track. He was also a different kid, imitating us and people around us, making new noises almost constantly, and following directions much better.

We had met with the Part B team prior to our second visit with Dr. Kerschen, and so Cub’s IEP was in place and ready for him to start in the fall. Everyone was in agreement that we were moving in the right direction and that Cub was making tons of progress.

June 5th… One of the worst days of my parenting life. At our second appointment with Dr. Kerschen, she announces that my son… MY SON… has autism. I wanted to scream and cry and yell at her for even thinking that. You want to know why? Because I know that is NOT the case.

On paper, maybe. But in real life, no chance. He is the smarted 2 year old you have ever met, physically gifted beyond belief and saying new words and phrases daily at this point. I honestly think we are simply the product of the perfect storm of events. Socialization and his ear problems started at the same time. We don’t know how long adenoids had been an issue, but once we got those taken care of this spring, my son has been a difference person. There are so many positive signs. No repetitive behavior. He’s not odd socially. He just likes to play by himself. I don’t like people. Why does he have to like people?!?

My new mission is life is to prove this doctor wrong. A label like Autism is devastating for a family, and to throw it around casually would be irresponsible of a doctor. Sensory issues, maybe, but Autism, NO WAY.

I’ve decided to chronicle our journey here, because, well I can, and because I am sure that there are other parents that have fought this same fight. I’m taking a stand for my kid, and we are going to work so hard that when we go back to see Dr. Kerschen in 2019, she will have no choice but to reverse the diagnosis. That is my crusade, and I won’t stop until we make it happen.

May 24, 2018

What a week!

I feel like this is the first week in quite some time that we haven’t had any definitive plans. School’s finally out. We are closing in on Memorial Day, which if you ask me is the start of summer. The days are warm, and I have a project that I have been trying to finish up in our detached garage out back. I decided that I needed an outdoor living room. Don’t ask me why I though this. I guess I wanted the kids to be outside more?

The boys and I are heading to Disney World next week for a few magical days with Mom and Krissy (my sister). I am so excited for a little break from home, and I think Cub is the perfect age to take. He’s not yet 3, so he’s still free but old enough and tall enough to ride a lot of fun rides. Plus he totally believes in magic, and it’s so fun to feed into that right now.

I’m sitting in the laundromat while I write this, because my washer is broken. It’s so annoying to have to drag 4 people’s laundry across town for a wash, then the opposite direction to dry, but what can I do until it gets fixed!? While I sit here, a lady brought in her dog that won’t stop barking, and she is talking ridiculously loud on her phone. I want to smack her! Have some respect! I come here for piece and quiet!

I’m working on a few new things that I am very excited about. I hope to tell you about them soon. After the year and a half that I have had, I need something to look forward too.

March 4th, 2018

Today was a beautiful, windy, Kansas day. We started the day with coffee and a trip to Home Depot to pick out a new storm door. After lunch, we went for a walk up by the baseball field. We spend some time watching the game, and wandered around the neighborhood. It was an awesome afternoon, and the boys were so good.

About 5:30 though, everything changed. All the sudden Cub walked over to Chas and vomited everywhere! I ran him into the bathroom where it happened a few more time, then threw him in the bath. While I was helping Cub, Chas yelled for the thermometer, and come to find out, Oz had. 101 fever! What the heck!

A wonderful day quickly turned into a very long night.

March 2nd, 2018

What a strange day it has been! Up at 4 with Oz again, as he was having a lot of trouble with a stuffy nose, and in turn breastfeeding was near impossible. After heating him up a bottle, he ate then proceeded to projectile vomit the entire amount on me.

He had his 2 month check up at 11 and had to get 3 shots. No fun at all! In fact, he had LOST weight since put weight check last Friday! Ugh!

Shortly after lunch, I heard sirens and looked out to see 2 ambulances, 4 cop cars, a sheriff and what looked like a detective at my next door neighbor’s house. I think she died, but not for sure. Crazy, and very sad.

March 1st, 2018

A day I would hope to start out with my first run post-pregnancy turned out to be a day spend on the couch. Oz and I both have a terrible cold. I was up with him most the night, and both of us are wildly uncomfortable, needing nose wiping and coughing up a storm.

I somehow managed to do a load of laundry, and cook some bacon for dinner while Cub danced to Taylor Swift and Justin Bieber videos on YouTube. Someone taught him to do the twist, and now he is twisting up a storm!

Taxes are weighing heavy on me because of medical bills, etc. I know I’ll figure it out, but boy is there lots of stress related to it.

I have been dying all day for chocolate, but since I can’t eat chocolate (I am now Dairy and Soy free because of Oz), I feel deprived and angry. Exactly why I need to run! Something’s gotta give!

I’m not faking being sick

Today is a really hard day. Today is Quinn’s birthday. I have a 5 week old baby that wouldn’t be here if she was. That’s a really hard concept to grasp. It’s perfect and not fair all at the same time.

I read a quote today that said, “I’m not faking being sick. I’m faking being well.” A lot of days that is how I feel. I could talk to someone/people about it, but I don’t want to. No one understands like a mother. And the biggest problem is that this sort of pain will never go away. I will always think about what I lost: the sleepless nights, the bows and dresses, the pigtails and the pink and purple. All of it.

It’s not fair, but it’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Oz is awesome. He is a good baby. He grunts and yells. He is so small. I just love him to pieces. But he’s not my Quinn.

More about Oz in posts to come, but for now, I am just going to wallow in my sorrow for a while.

The life before

Well, I think I am finally ready to give you all the details of the past 4 months of my life. They have been something out of a story book, unbelievable for sure.

Let’s start at the beginning. November 15th was my last day with volleyball. We had a meeting, turned in gear, and I went on my way, back to the life of mom, General Manager for Prep2Prep, wrestling wife and pregnant woman. 2 days later I started having contractions that just wouldn’t quit, so we made our first of many (Little did I know) trips to Labor and Delivery here at HaysMed. They checked me for awhile, baby was fine, so I was put on bed rest for the weekend.

2 weeks later, I woke up in excruciating pain on my left side. I have a cyst on my ovary on that side and thought it might be the cause of the problems. I left Chas and Cub to sleep and went to the ER, where they again sent me to Labor and Delivery. I stayed for a few hours, was given pain meds and told that it was round ligament pain. What a wimp I was!! I was so mad at myself, but trust me, the pain was furious.

My mom came in for the weekend and Monday night we went to look at Christmas lights. Cub had a great time, but when we got home, I was having severe contractions, and decided to head to bed in hopes they would calm down.

I woke up early the next day, feeling back to normal and excited for my 30 week ultrasound that morning. Chas, Cub and I loaded up for the hospital. The appointment seemed normal enough, but right at the end, the technician said that she couldn’t get a good measurement of my cervix and needed to try something different. Once she finally got the measurement she told us to go ahead and go upstairs to the doctor’s office because she was a little concerned that I had a short cervix.

After that is sort of a blur. I was told to go to Labor and Delivery again. They determined I was in pre-term labor and decided to give me magnesium to try to stop it. Within a few hours, I was told I was being sent to Wichita, because if the baby was born, HaysMed’s NICU couldn’t handle him that small… little did I know I wasn’t driving to Wichita. I was being taken by helicopter.

The flight lasted 51 minutes, of which I remember very little. I was very uncomfortable and having contractions. Once I got to Wesley, I went through the entire admissions process again, and for the next 6 days, I was stuck. Worst of all, I was told I wasn’t leaving Wichita until we hit 34 weeks, about a month away.

I stayed with my brother and his wife, who coincidentally had just moved to Wichita in September. It was the longest month ever, without my husband and Cub, but I made it somehow. I was given the all clear to head home 1 day early on December 31st to spend New Years Eve with my family.

The morning of the 31st I loaded up the car and off I went, stopping at Starbucks for a breakfast sandwich and a bottle of water. In the drive thru is where I had my first contraction that day. I was having well over 70 a day most days, so I wasn’t concerned but started timing them as I always did. I got about 30 mins down the road, and realized that my contractions were consistently 2:10 apart, and I knew I was in trouble.

After a LONG drive back to Hays, I attempted to get calmed down, but the contractions just kept coming. We went to the hospital at 6:15 that evening, and Oz Henley Thompson was born at 3:16am on January 1, 2018. I missed my tax deduction by 3 hours and 16 minutes.

After 17 days in the NICU, Ozzie came home to live with us, a perfect little ball of baby. He is such a good boy, and I am so excited I get to be his mommy.

After the excitement of the first few days of 2018, I am sure this is going to be a year to remember!

Expect the unexpected

20171205081331281The last month of my life has been a whirl wind.

Volleyball season ended mid-November, and it seemed like the let-down of the season allowed a flood of terrible pregnancy symptoms to attack me at every turn. Let’s go in chronological order, shall we?

Week 26– Volleyball Ends

27 & 3– Mid-morning contractions start, strong enough that I can’t talk through them. They are regular in their spacing, and Chas took me to the hospital about 1pm. He of course was preparing to leave for a tournament in Kearney, NE, that night. They checked me. I was dialated to 1, and they eventually let me go home but told me to spend the weekend in bed just taking it easy.

29 & 3– Did not sleep a wink. Woke up to Cub screaming about 11:30pm, and proceeded to be up the rest of the night because of terrible pain in my left side. I honestly thought I might have kidney stones or an impacted bowel. It was terrible! Finally, after I got Cub back to sleep about 4, I ended up driving myself to the ER, where they immediately send me to Labor and Delivery. I was there till almost 10 am, and they sent me home, telling me I just had round ligament pain… I mean, honestly!!

29 & 6 – After going for a drive to look at Christmas lights, I came home to very strong contractions at about 2:30 mins apart. I proceeded to take Tylenol and Benadryl as I had been instructed to do, and went to bed, hoping to sleep it off.

Week 30– The reason my mom came was to see my 30 week ultrasound, scheduled for December 5th or the day I reached 30 weeks. She woke up with a stomach flu, and Chas, Cub and I proceeded to the hospital for my sonogram. After a few measurements, the radiologist told me that she was sending me upstairs to my doctor, because she was getting a shorter than normal measurement on my cervix. My doctor sent me back down to Labor and Delivery because of the fact that I had been having contractions. After another internal sonogram, it was determined that I was in pre-term labor. Due to the nature of Hay’s hospital only being a Level 3, I was quickly told that They were going to start me on magnesium to try to stop labor, give me steroids to try to develop baby’s lungs, and I was going to be choppered to Wesley Medical Center in Wichita, where the NICU could care for the baby assuming I delivered.

I spent the next 6 days in the hospital, in and out of labor and delivery, but no baby. It was determined I could leave the hospital, but Hays Med would not take me back until I reached 34 weeks.

33 & 1– Here I sit, at my brother’s house in Wichita, writing this post. No baby yet, thank goodness, but without my husband and eldest son. I have 6 more days to wait it out until I can go back home to my own bed, my dogs, my cat, and my regular life. My Christmas plans were foiled. New Years is just another day, as I won’t get to kiss my love at midnight. I will, however, get to drive home to my family.

This has been one of the hardest months of my life, to top off the absolute worst year of my life. I am convinced that if I am still alive come January 1, 2018, I will undoubtedly be able to make it through just about anything. The best part of the last month is that we still do not have a little baby. He needs to stay in there and cook a few more weeks, so every day we get through is a good day for him.

find-tums-products_m

I continue to have contractions for a majority of most days, and I have eaten more Tums in the past 7 months than anyone in the world… It will all be worth it for a happy, healthy baby boy.

 

When your mind is running, your feet should be too

It’s 7:02 am, and I have already checked multiple things off my to-do list.

My day started at 4:46 am when I heard our bulldog, Milton’s claws hit the wood floor outside the bedroom. As many bulldogs do, Milton has a very sensitive stomach, and after cleaning up multiple “dog messes” the night before, I knew I needed to get ahead of him and make sure he went straight to the backyard. He did his business and quickly came back inside, but that didn’t mean we were going back to bed.

When I laid back down, I had three things running through my head: 1. I was still dreaming, or trying to remember what I was dreaming about prior to the rude dog awakening, 2. My to-do list, which after yesterday’s events just got a lot longer, and 3. The Moana soundtrack which still has yet to shut off (and honestly never seems too!). I should probably take you back to yesterday first, and explain #2.

3:00 pm Tuesday, my phone rings and on the other line is the Athletic Director from the university where my husband works. Long story short, I am now an interim volleyball coach for the Fort Hays Tigers. With 5 games from tomorrow through Saturday in Oklahoma, you can understand why this mama would have a to-do list a mile long.

From 5-7 am I wrote emails and navigated spreadsheets making sure that I had everything accomplished to seize the day. Cub, of course, was up at 6:20 am for milk, and I knew I had the length of that milky to get the rest of my morning chores done… It was gone by 6:36 am, and he was throwing his blankey at me shortly there after.

The entire time I sat at my laptop this morning, I just kept thinking, “I should be out running.” Fortunately I don’t feel bad about completing tasks as opposed to pounding the pavement. I was smart enough to schedule a workout a little later this morning with my friend Melanie, so good to go! I know I will feel a lot of relief after we get done with that between 9-10, and I can start taking on “volleyball stuff”.

As I finish this post, I am excited to conquer the day, and I know that I will work it all out as we progress through the next few weeks. And when volleyball season is all over, we will have a baby! Lots to do and lots to look forward to over the next few month… get ready!

Lend a helping hand

As I sit here this morning watching coverage of Hurricanes Irma and Jose, images of 9/11, and my son playing in the foreground, the fact that I am extremely lucky does not escape me. We are safe, dry, warm and happy here in Hays, Kansas. I have food to feed my pets and family. We have cars to get us where we need to go, and this warm cup of coffee makes for a great start to my day. Granted, this baby in my belly sure is making my stomach growl right now, but I plan to get up and take care of that in a few minutes.

My heart breaks for the people in Florida that are waking up to devastation. I have to remind myself that the people who dealt with Harvey two weeks ago continue to wake up and deal with it. These people will be stronger because of their resilience. While I know they don’t have much of a choice, I applaude them for pushing through what has to be one of the hardest times of their lives.

I have many friends in Florida, some that I know well, and some that don’t even know that they are friends of mine. That sounds weird. Let me clarify. We are social media friends. I enjoy seeing posts of their kids, adventures and business successes. We might not know each other personally, but I am rooting for them and thinking about them during this very hard time.

9/11 was one of the most defining days of my life, and not only because of the tragedy that struck that day. The sense of comradery that we felt as Americans was so comforting. After 16 years, I am still reminded of it every time I see the images of that day, and when tragedy strikes again, as with Harvey and Irma, I love seeing people in our country go out of their way to help their neighbors.

While I wish I could take off and go help clean up in these areas that are hardest hit, I know that in my current state, it is best for me to manage my family, love my little boy and baby-yet-to-be-born, and make sure that I teach them about the generosity of mankind in times of need. Whether it is donating funds, offering a helping hand, taking in displaced families, or just offering up your good thoughts and prayers, I hope that we can all put aside our differences over the next few weeks to give our best to those Americans that need it right now.