I have been fairly upfront about my struggles getting back into running post baby. Between working full time, wrangling Cub, keeping our new HUGE house clean and organized and all the other things that a woman has to do and worry about on a daily basis have been overwhelming to me over the past year. Summer seemed a lot better when I could lean on Chas more, but now that school is back in session, I am finding my days to be more cluttered, the work to be piling up, and the rage in my belly showing itself much too often.

Our new house, which I love, but takes a year to clean!

For those of you who don’t know, when you have Ginn genes, you have the temper gene. Mine is quite explosive, like my father’s (even though he will never admit that), and there are time when I have to set Cub down, walk away and move to something else to keep myself from going off. I am very lucky to have self-control when it comes to people, but inanimate objects sometimes take the brunt of the anger.

I don’t remember many more calm times in my life than when I was training for a race. My first marathon training fell during a particularly difficult time in my life while I was coaching a college volleyball team full of a bunch of assholes. I remember running every morning and letting my mind just drift away from the problems that I would be facing later that day. Being able to focus on my podcast listening, or the gnomes adorning the old woman’s yard on the corner of Corning and 32nd St. makes other things just melt away.

Not running for the past X number of days is really creeping up. The last 3 days I feel like nothing can plug up the steam coming out of my ears.  But worst of all, I am so tired that I have no desire to get up and try to solve the problem by going out and hitting the pavement. My Friday’s are screwed because I am up til 3 am making sure our website is running properly and that all the cogs are doing what they are supposed to be doing. (Oh and someone always forgets to tell Cub that mom needs to sleep in on Saturday so that she doesn’t lock him in his playroom for half the day.)

Take aways from this article:

1. I don’t beat my kid.
2. My husband is a saint.
3. I don’t get any sleep on weekends.
4. I hold a lot of emotions inside.
5. I need to run more.

Next week’s goals:

1. Run
2. Relax
3. Kiss my husband