As an athlete, I like to think that my body will tell me everything I need to know. If I ate too much, my body responds. If I haven’t had enough sleep, my body response. If I am under too much stress, my body responds. I can’t get away with treating myself badly. I am also a massive Type A personality, so I try to control everything I possibly can. I’ve been anorexic before…I do not respond well to stressors.

Lately, I have been under major stress. Like shoot yourself in the head to get it over with stress. Yesterday, I broke. I had an anxiety attack. My heart was pounding out of my chest. I couldn’t catch my breath. I wanted to vomit. Everything just came to a head. Today, I feel better about the situation, but I have an awful head cold! It just doesn’t pay to be under so much stress. It’s not good! You pay consequences. I know better than to hold all my feelings in, but sometimes you feel totally alone. Sometimes you just want to leave and runaway.

I am trying to pull myself back together. Marathon training starts today, and I am very excited about it. I want to run. I want to feel healthy, and I want to be the person I dream of becoming… Only I can make it happen.