Author Archives: Jen Thompson

No Strings

The last few months of my life have been a struggle. Not in the sense that I had no food, or was stranded on a desert island or anything. But it was a struggle none-the-less. Work has been crazy, wedding planning is overwhelming, and the freaks outs that came along with accepting the union of marriage were painful at times. But I am finally ready! I want to be married. I am excited about being married, and at this point, I just want to get it over with, mainly because I miss Chas so much.

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We are currently in the longest stretch of ever being apart that we have gone through. When all is said and done, it will have been 3 full months. That’s a long time!

Bulletproof_Exec_003Anyway, I have come to the point where I am just sick of feeling awful all the time. For about the last 2 months, I have been trying to eat cleaner. I can tell a difference in my body, which is great, plus I feel like I am recovering faster from my long runs. I have been sipping some bulletproof coffee lately, and while I have to carefully watch my MCT oli intake due to what it does to my stomach (holy nausea), I really love it! I have started lifting again too, which I truly think is a runner’s friend. It’s very easy to end up looking like you are wasting away when you are running as much as I am at this point.

My mood has been so sour lately, mostly because I felt overwhelmed by all there was to do. Last weekend, on a run of course, I decided that I wasn’t taking enough time for myself, and I was bitter about it. Work, run, sleep, repeat has been my cycle over the past few months. So every morning, I am taking about an hour to do something that I want to do. Sometimes I read, watch tv or watch YouTube videos, but just that one hour makes my mood totally different for the day.

I have also vowed to start writing more. Most of it has been done on our wedding website (jenandchas.com) to this point, but I am working to ramp up this site as well, as I have found great inspiration in other’s blogs lately.

I am happy to feel happy finally. I am happy to feel in love again. I am happy to be excited about what 2014 will bring. And I am excited to put it into words for you all to read.

My World is a Treadmill

I think the title says it all. That’s exactly what I feel like. I am on a treadmill that doesn’t stop, keeps an insane pace, and I can’t reach the red button to stop it.

The frustration I am having with all of this is that I have no reason to feel like I do, depressed and alone. I should be on top of the world. I love my job more than I can express. I just got engaged. My running is better than it has ever been. There is logically no explanation for it.

So, I guess I am just going to try to write my way through this, because I am out of ideas. If you’re tired of my depressive posts, I understand, but I think it’s better that I talk to myself through here rather than try to deny what I am going through.

The Rolling Depression

I am so happy to be engaged. I want to marry Chas, and I want to start our lives together, but ever since we got engaged, I have felt more depressed than I think I almost ever have. The overwhelming feeling that I have with all that I have to do at work, plus the added stress and pressure of planning a wedding makes me dread life a little bit. I have multiple problems with planning a wedding:

1. I don’t want a reception. The reasons for this are two fold.

  • I don’t dance, I hate it, won’t do it, and don’t want to.
  • I don’t drink.

2. I don’t want to be the center of attention. I hate feeling like I am inconveniencing people in any way, so thinking that people are rearranging their lives for my wedding is something that is extremely bothersome.

3. I have about 0 friends, and Chas has like 1 million, so the event of making an invite list highlights this fact to no end.

I have this strange feeling of wanting to be left alone and wanting to be talking to someone at all times. Unfortunately, I still feel alone, even when I am with someone. Its not fun. I can’t shake it. But the only thing that has changed in my situation is the addition of an engagement ring.

It all basically comes down to this. I want to be excited to plan my wedding. I don’t want to completely dread it like I am now. This is supposed to be a fun, memorable time, and I am hating it.

Oh, and if anyone actually reads these things, please don’t comment with something like, “Oh, come on. It can’t be that bad.” I will literally come to your house and kick your ass. Don’t waste your energy, and don’t come back to my blog. It’s called my blog for a reason. Enough of that rant…

Regardless of how stressed and depressed I feel, my runs keep seeming to get better, and that is one thing that I can’t be upset about.

 

 

Disneyland Half Marathon Wrap Up

Well I made it through another half marathon!

Overall, I feel great about my body, great about my finish, and loved every minute of this race. One unusual thing about this race was that I got very nervous prior to the race. It was hot, crowded, and there were lots of other runners all trying to funnel through a small area. My brother came to cheer me on and be my pit crew, which was very helpful but not quite as comforting as when my mom is there to take care of me.

The Disneyland Half was the best I have run so far, proving to myself that I can run for time and can continue to PR if I push myself. In fact, I am finding it hard NOT to push myself for time. While I would like to take my time and enjoy the festivities on the course, I can’t seem to get over the fact that I am running fast and keeping a good pace.

Throughout the race, my per mile pace hovered right around 11:31 per mile, and my finish time was almost exactly 15 minutes faster than my last half. I finished at 2:30:56, and am sure that I could finish in under 2:30 in my next one.

it was really a great race, and a great course. I am excited to do more half in the near future, as well as this race again. I just can’t explain how special Disney races are. I wouldn’t be a runner if I hadn’t run my first marathon at Disney.

 

So Close, Yet So Far Away

Well it is the last day of August, and since my disappointing 4th of July showing, lots of things have changed in my life.

1. I got engaged!!!! It only took 6.5 years.
2. My brother moved into me. It is just till December, but it is quite a change, since I am so used to living by myself.
3. I have been training my butt off for a half marathon that I am running first thing tomorrow morning. Again my passion for Disney and running collide as I run the Disneyland Half Marathon.
4. My workload has nearly quadrupled. I’ve always been busy, but this is a different kind of busy.

Is that enough for you?

Anyway, I am sitting in my hotel, just waiting for my alarm to go off tomorrow morning. I am so excited to run a race again, and I am convinced that I have to run more, which shouldn’t be a problems since I have the Dopey coming up in January.

Hoping to post again this weekend, after the race with my results. Attempting to beat my PR of 2:43:05. Keep your fingers crossed!

Disappointment

6aabc67294ffc8340787ba5e8ca77022Well, 2 days ago was supposed to be my big Swagtastic Half Marathon. I was so excited about it. I ate very well the 2 days before the race. I hydrated. I laid out my clothing the night before and placed my gels in my running belt. I was ready to go.

Wednesday morning the alarm went off at 5:00 am, and the coffee maker started running. I got all ready, had a small cup of coffee and an english muffin with peanut butter, and while I didn’t feel great, I was still excited to get moving. I started out fast, keeping my miles under 12 minutes, which is a record for me. Mile one went by, mile two was ok, but by the time I got to mile three, I felt extremely winded, exhausted and started chilled. By 3.5 miles, I was shaking so back that I wasn’t running in a straight line. I stopped at mile four.

I am so disappointed in myself, but the truth of the matter is that I have been very sick. I had a fever most of the 4th of July, lots of chest congestion and a bad cough. The worst part is that I was on pace to beat my half marathon PR by 10 minutes.

Oh well… Life goes on, and so does my training. I hope to get back on the road by the first of the week, and we will try again on Labor Day.

A Good End to a Challenging Week

I had a rough week. You could probably tell by my last post. But fortunately it has ended better than it began. I feel like I have really gotten my running on track this week, which is good, because I have a half marathon on Thursday. I am very excited about it actually, and I am working on my game plan to make sure I am prepared. I am hoping to finish in under 2:42:15, as that was my time at the Disney World Marathon… I finished in 2:45:05 for the Half Marathon, and then ran faster the next day… oddly enough.

I’ll keep you updated on this week’s progress…

The More Things Change, the More They Stay the Same

I have tried 8 times now to put into words on this page what I am trying to say. Over the last 4 weeks I have had no luck. I am lost, and really do feel like I am having a nervous breakdown. I can’t seem to keep concentration on anything. I have started stuttering like a fool. And worst of all, I know something is wrong, and I can’t figure out what it is or how to fix it. Nothing helps.

And just when I felt like I was at the edge of the cliff, a co-worker of mine decides that I am the reason he is miserable and decides to treat me like the mean, popular girl in high school. Well I tell you what, he can shove it. I am done with it all.

So here’s to letting the nervous breakdown begin, and hoping I make it through…

Podcasts, Plants, Parental Control

Well, I am three podcasts in now, and I am pretty sure that I am the only one that has downloaded them… But then again, I don’t think anyone reads this blog either, which is perfectly fine with me. I have a lot of things to say about myself and my life, and just saying them out loud helps me as much as saying them to a live human person. I always look weird recording on my runs, but it helps me maintain a good pace. Recording in my car is the most fun. It takes my mind off the awful traffic, and I seem to be able to get into deep thought better when I am driving. I love recording, and talking about my goals as a woman, marketing director and runner. I am going to keep moving forward, keep getting better, and hopefully keep recording and writing, because it seems like a good outlet for me.

Item number 2 on the agenda tonight is that I am considering getting a plant. Big step, right?

So I take these 2 little girls to school every morning. They live right around the corner from me. I go to their house every morning at 7, pack their lunches, get them dressed, do their hair, feed them breakfast, and walk them to school. Many days when I arrive, I am frustrated to find that much of the work is already done, and so I spend an hour sitting there just waiting, when I know I could be at home getting other things done. Today, the 5 year old got smart with me while the mom was standing there, and the mom just laughed. I was in complete shock. If I had acted like that when I was her age, my parents would have beaten my behind. So I am now to the point where I don’t feel like being harassed by a 5 year old, especially when the parents allow it. If I am lucky enough to able to have children some day, I PROMISE they will be more respectful and well behaved than these children…

Ok, enough for now, but I am updating my racing page, so check that out to see what I have coming up…

Podcast Numbero Uno

Sooooooo…. I had an interesting idea the other day. I realized how much I miss listening to podcast from running while they are running. That sounds dumb, but some of my favorite podcasts were from people like the 4 feet running gang, Gordon Harvey (This Running Life and Running to Disney) and Megan Storms (Run, Vegan, Run). After speaking with both of them, via Twitter, over the past month, I decided that maybe I should try it myself! Why not right?

So last night, I recorded the first episode. It’s long, probably boring, and noisy (because I ran during evening traffic), but I did it. I am going to attempt to put it up on the web, and will post again when it is live on iTunes…